Have you ever made an appointment with a therapist when you are having a super bad day, just to cancel it as soon as the reminder email hits your inbox a few days/weeks later? No? Just me? Cool cool cool.

Before I was a therapist and a client, I was only a client. I would have a super bad day, call for an appointment, and then cancel it a few days later when I was feeling better. I would think “I’m fine, I don’t need to go” or “what am I even going to talk about, nothing bad happened this week”. Nothing wrong with this, but now that I have experience from both the couch and the chair, I figured I would write about what *might happen if you don’t cancel.

First time clients: So, you’ve booked your first appointment! This step is often the hardest so well done for getting here! Now you wait. For some people (like me) the waiting feels uncomfortable. You might start second guessing your decision to see a therapist, you might start feeling a bit better, or you might really be looking forward to your session. If you are on the more uncomfortable side, I want you to know that it is totally normal to feel nervous. The good news is that (most of the time) your therapist has done this before. We have seen many clients and done many first sessions, so we can guide you through it. You are not alone in there! Also. That first session is a great time to “interview” your therapist. Not all souls are meant to work together in therapy, and it is VERY important that you feel comfortable with the person who is going to be walking next to you in your journey to wellness. We all know how uncomfortable it is when the stranger next to us on the plane keeps talking at us when all we want to do is watch Friends. You don’t even want to share your armrest, never mind the details of your relationship with your mother! So. If you do decide to go and you still feel nervous/scared/irritable etc. here are some tips: 1: Tell us how you feel! We LOVE feelings, it’s all we talk about! (lol). 2: Ask questions! As many as you want. 3: Ask to start with some relaxation practice like deep breathing before jumping in.

For not-first-time clients: So you made another appointment, but your week has actually been pretty good. You are thinking about cancelling your session because you don’t think there is much to talk about. Now I won’t tell you to keep your appointment, do whatever you feel is right. But when this happens in my sessions I find that we sometimes get to do our best work together. Having had a good week means that something in your life is going right, and I want to hear about it! There is a misconception that therapy is a place to focus on problems, but this is not true (at least not for me). For me, therapy is as much (or even more) about strength as it is about struggle. When you have “nothing” to talk about, we talk about your wins. We talk about everything that went right, and how we can keep that happening. A good week might also mean that you have a clear head and a calm body. This is a great time to talk about struggles, because our nervous systems are probably in “chill mode” and our thinking brains are engaged. It is a great time to track progress, talk through a previous struggle, identify effective coping skills, and reflect on how far you have come. The therapy space is (hopefully) a comfortable space for you, and sometimes that comfort allows you to relax, slow-down, and really think/feel for (and about) yourself for once that week.

As always, this is one counselor’s opinion based on my own experiences. It is not therapeutic advice or guidance. Take what is useful to you (if anything) and leave the rest here.

Thank you for reading this far! Chat soon!